omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize