its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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