I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
