drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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