So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
