i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
