See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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