Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
