You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
