I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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