By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
You dont lie about slip and slides
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Verdict: uncircumcised.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
