Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Randomize
