Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
