We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
