She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize