I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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