Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
why do cheetos always look like penises
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
