im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
