is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Is Oprah even human
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize