So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize