He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
