he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
