Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
