I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
