Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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