Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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