would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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