so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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