addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
