You smell like stripper and shame
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
