yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
you mean i was at the winter classic?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
