I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
