we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
