Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
