I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
