Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
