so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize