i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
