Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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