The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
