Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
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