4 words: hood of his car
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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