BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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