i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
