in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I can text with my tongue
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize