We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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