wanna go halves on a baby?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I will be naked everywhere
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize