***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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