You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
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