woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
