I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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