I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
