wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
