is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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