I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
