help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I need water and some morals
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
