so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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