Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
