lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
