Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
you will always have a special place in my vag
this will be a night to untag.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
