If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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