I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm too high and old for this...
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize