I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
