peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
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