He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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