We're like a lot better than the average bears
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
