Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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