I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
