I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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