how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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