awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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