But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize