whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
